Urgh! Bloody Valentines!!! My not so Valentines message!

Here Rachael explores her own relationship with this season, and how this is reflective of her current healing, what St Valentine’s really thinks of his feast day and how YOU can use this celebration to manifest the future that you want. But not in a way St Valentine would approve of!

The energy around this time is very interesting. I never had much interest in the cheesiness of Valentines Day; far too lovey dovey. What’s interesting this year is that I am exploring where I have learned to rely on my masculine energies to navigate through life; love life being no different. Although when I fall, I fall hard and god forbid if you are not ready for that commitment, don’t take it that far. Typical Taurean in that respect. When it typically comes to relationships I have been quite masculine; I’m the one to shag and not call again, or get annoyed when the f**k buddy thinks it’s a relationship when it was agreed as a bit of fun, to keep relationships at arms lengths, until I know I am secure and can trust myself with this person. Sex itself only falling into the feminine as a form of feeling adored and worshiped, of me blowing your mind and at the same time making you feel like a King to my Goddess. Not dominating but leading from a passive position (ooh! matron! Can’t miss that double entendre!). Now realising that falling into that Goddess energy allowing me to feel safe enough to let others be in control; as I knew ultimately this was my arena and although we were playing, I was still in control, on a deep energetic level. Not realising throughout my late twenties (I was a late bloomer due to a long term relationship from 17) that connecting into my power, was being done through sex. And certainly not associating my Spirituality with own Divine Power of the womb space.

So all of the fluffy, and quite frankly campness, (which I love but don’t really embody!) which goes with this festival normally bypasses me.

Not this year. This year I have a very aware six year old who very much embraces her feminine side. Playing with dolls and ‘organising’ her older brother and toddler sister with passion and voom, verging on a rage at times. I was not that six year old. Barbies at a push, magical ponies were a must, but dolls and changing nappies and feeding babies! Not in the slightest.

So it has come as a surprise that such a dominant character as Alice is so loving. A child torn between two extremities.

So she is super excited about Valentines Day. I have bought the kids gifts, and think I must get a card and gift for the hubby for the first time (okay, that’s a lie! When we were first dating I sent him balloons in a box. Half to embarrass him, but that half in an attempt to cover up the truth behind the gesture, which is that I wanted everyone in the office to know I loved him and I was head over heels!). We are having a meal and a party, with decorations. And actually a wonderful excuse in lockdown, so it is! (sorry, the Irish Spirits which were with me last night when I did my live channeling on my Friday Night Live in Facebook are quite clearly still here! Bloody family! lol!) .

Sickening, and not in a good way! Photo by Gabby K on Pexels.com

A gift from her, which I acknowledge and am grateful for, as I work through my own associations with fluffy love and showing my affections openly. Easy for me to do with the kids, but not the hubby! Currently I feel like I am embodying a teenage part of myself; an age where, due to the strictness of my Catholic upbringing, I was never able to explore my burgeoning maiden. Self care in forms of make-up, dressing up and shaving legs frowned upon or out-right banned, as ‘you only do that if you want to have sex’. Messed up outlooks on both self care not being available to women unless it was for men and negative associations with sex and boyfriends full stop. I can assure you, that attitude broke as my own family broke away from the church.

Totally adorable! Cupid and Psyche by William-Adolphe Bouguereau 1890

Imbolc is instead the bedrock which underlies the energy of this celebration. Valentines Day was, I understand, originally a ‘Fuckfest’ carried through from the old religions and whitewashed (in every way!) by the Catholic Church. (thanks for that one David!). The festival is associated with fat little putto, the fat baby cherub angels, due to their association with Cupid or Eros; the beautiful messenger of love. A child of both Mercury and Aphrodite. Sending the sparks flying at this time of year, as nature starts to reawaken. Extra energy, coldness and dark evenings make fun bed-fellows, if you follow the pun!

So my Valentines message is not very Valentiney. St Valentine I can assure you as a healer and priest would not be happy to be associated with all the provado and tat that is this season in todays language; the energy having come from the original energy of the feast, not from this Saints association with it when it was rebranded by the church in the 14th century (likely due to the fact the bloody pagans, of varying Pantheons of Gods, all over Europe not wanting to let it go!). Just as Jesus isn’t too happy to be associated with our most extreme festival of gift giving and feasting, which is Yule (need to get round to having a chat with him about his feelings over Easter this year!). St Valentine would is far happier with just his Patronage of Beekeepers and Epileptics, I can assure you!

I hope he’s a jolly little beekeeper! One for you St Valentine! Photo by Timothy Paule II on Pexels.com

My message is this. Buy cards and flower and chocolates and perfume, dress up in sexy underwear and throw eachother around the bedroom by all means.

But if you need an excuse it to do, make a regular excuse to do it. Make a special night weekly or monthly where you grab the Marks n Sparks meal deal and focus entirely on eachother. No phones, just you two. Talk about the kids; that’s okay. They are one thing which bonds you after all and I feel it is a ridiculous notion to suggest that your loved is not at times shared through their mutual care. Talking about the kids will lead you to talking about other things; planning for their future and part of that will be the future that you visualise for eachother. You are the support network for your family and the more your joint goal is clear and you are working to the same goals, the more energy you are sending towards. Just in the same way that I sit and get others to visualise their path forward, it is important that you do this with your family.

To set intentions.

So too is work talk important; I hate the no work talk at the table rule some have! If you are living your best life then it is likely that your passions are wrapped up in your work. Who else are you going to share that with but your partner? And again, knowing where they are workwise, allows you to plan and visualize a future together which has some chance of actually manifesting!

Again, Set your intentions out loud!!

And this time of year is the perfect time to do it; Imbolc, celebrated in many Wicca and Pagan circles as the start of the New Year. The energetic New Year, not what some grumpy old Pope decided at some point. It is still cold but the seeds are germinating; you can see evidence of it all around.

The Evidence of Spring! Photo by Gelgas Airlangga on Pexels.com

So do Valentines, but do it the way it was intended. To put all of that wonderful creative energy which lies in our wombs and prostates to good use, the way we were designed to. And then keep that going. I invite you to make a date, with yourself or a loved one monthly for the next year and see what your life together, and alone, looks like. As they energy flows where focus goes, so focus regularly on creating a life you desire! It often takes a good wheel of the year to get the basics in place before you start flourishing; build the basics in, starting now! That date could be timed into the New or Full Moon for empowerment (he doesn’t need to know that if he’s grouchy about spirituality), but maintaining that for a year will make a massive deal of difference to your life. And once a month is something we can all manage. If you say you can’t, then there are bigger blocks in your life that you have to deal with first.

Alone a date may look like an evening where you cook yourself or buy prepped your favourite meal. Wine, chocolate. Treat yourself to the flowers (I love buying myself flowers! I feel so pleased with myself!) Some magic or healing to get your energies flowing, some dancing with your hips or something creative. And if that look like loving yourself in a physical way, then go for it! (I have got to that age, where innocent web searches on the topics I enjoy do result in some interesting shopping suggestions from google; crystal dildo anyone?!).

I am going to steer you away from trying to manifest your perfect partner through this process. Don’t get me wrong, absolutely a future should include love, companionship and support; notice I say include and not based around. But look first and foremost at how that is already manifest in non romantic relationships around you, as well as your relationship with yourself. Only by Mastering Self Love and Gratitude are you ever going to manifest the love that you need, rather than the cycle of arseholes you keep attracting. Only by knowing yourself and showing yourself, will the ‘right’ person be able to ‘see you’. In all honesty, I have a great disdain of those that use their gifts to give crappy relationships and typical ‘twin flame’ readings; reinforcing what the person’s passive or aggressive ego is telling them about their need for a relationship. Rather than a genuine reading, based around what you need in this moment. Which is what you’ll get off me! Book an online reading with me here (please note; I am not offering crappy Valentines readings! 😉 Want something authentic about your life journey? Then I am your gal!) Have a read of my ‘no such thing as a twin flame’ blog here, which certainly triggered a few people to see my understanding of what reinforcing we are less than whole can do to your life journey.

Imbolc has a very sexual feeling to it’s nature and if you have blocks around this sort of thing, this is the time to deal with it. I don’t need to have a conversation with you about how masturbation is natural and beautiful self exploration. This is not the fifties and we know this to be true. If you don’t feel like it’s true then you know which areas of healing you are working on!

I leave my love, and virtual chocolates and Valentines hearts with you!

Till next time my friends

Rachael x

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