Why a positive mindset is not always a productive one, how to spot where you may have been going wrong and how to get yourself back on track.
I have seen swaths of ‘positive’ mindset reframing for the last few years. Don’t get me wrong; choosing a new belief system and working towards it are a really good thing and in fact the basis for much of my work. But there are real dangers when we don’t understand what we are doing. False positivity is the same as emotional bypassing and a sign that you are seriously ungrounded and need to do some serious healing work, before you go about positively reframing anything else!
When we choose rather than to deal with an obstacle or real issue, we instead decide to simply accept that issue and superficially feel differently about it, we are acting the Fool. Our path is blocked and get we keep banging our head against it. In real terms what we are doing is not dealing with the real emotions, the empowerment issue, the inner child trigger. We are forging ahead into nothingness.
Most of my work comes from reframing people’s mindsets; the Galilean Healing Programme works on an energetic level with the healing and crystals, but also on a mental and emotional level directly with the use of the hypnotherapy techniques. But it is really important to understand, if you do not deal with the underlying issue effectively, all you are doing is sticking a plaster on something which needs deep surgery.
Signs you are not reframing properly:
- Cycles repeating
- Moving from one disaster or drama to the next
- Feeling of overwhelm or exhaustion
- Feeling you are banging your head against a brick wall.
- You regularly see your circle of friends dramatically changing
- You never achieve what you have set out to do
- Your achievements don’t feel as good as you thought they would
- An underlying feeling of overwhelm
- Presenting one face to others, and another face to yourself or family.
Where I see mindset reframing failing in other people:
- Dealing with Things on the Spiritual Level only: you know what, sometimes all you need is to look at something from the perspective of the Universe and everything is instantly okay. You realise something is smaller and far less important than you have been viewing it; you get the perspective you need. You may receive this through meditation or from talking to an honest, trusted, loving friend (not all friends are honest and that can be dangerous!). But if you find that in real life that this new perspective is not having the effect it needs, or you are not the one bringing the changes, or if others are initiating this healing you feel you have done, then one of two things will occur:
- you have not received the information you think you have. This is because you are so unwilling to genuinely look at yourself or your actions with perspective, that your own Ego, your own protective mind, has stepped in and ‘given’ you what you need, so that you world does not collapse. Yes, you are still living in the matrix of your own mind! Which is why talking to another, wise, human is generally a really good thing. I often find friends or clients contacting me for a reading or for my insight; it is difficult for me to sometimes be honest in a way that they need, (the strain against the throat chakra is always there! Something I am still working through!) but my heart and the wisdom that I know lies within me finds ways of saying it that don’t hurt too much! I promise! And I honestly find that with the strong intentions I have set around my work, I generally don’t get friends anymore or clients that are not willing to look at themselves with perspective. I also have trusted friends that I go to too; however I have always been really lucky that introspection and genuinely looking at myself with perspective are natural talents. You will carry on in your own little world, nothing will change, by your own actions anyway, and you will wonder why you are leaping from drama to drama, from situation to situation.
- The Universe Will do the work for you; if you have some sort of genuine connection to the Universe and a healing ability of any sort, the likelihood is that you have done the work. But, but, but – you are not grounded enough to actually bring it into reality yourself. This comes from one of many things; generally personal empowerment, childhood issues and shadow self work. (I have a couple of blogs here and here) The Universe will do what it needs to in order to put in place what you have asked; two big problems with this:
- One is that it is going to take bigger and bigger (healing) crisis’ in order for you to get where you, unwillingly, are forcing yourself; action must equal intent! If you keep fighting against it in real life, and you keep asking for it, it will take larger and larger issues to rock the boat to force you to do what you want to do.
- Secondly, you don’t want to be a projecting leach do you? As the Universe has to act through others; others who choose to take action in their life in whatever way. I did a channeled message recently (catch up on YouTube here) where Sekhmet spoke about how when we pray for help and change in our lives, who we are praying to is actually eachother. Spirit cannot make the changes unless they act through us. So be really aware of this when you do intention setting through mindset change and don’t really want to do the personal work or have no intention of doing any real world work either. After a while people will find your projecting energy suppressive and move along. So you maybe surprised as to why friendships ebb and flow as they do!
- You Have Some REAL issues which need addressing: rather than just needing a superficial mindset change or refocus. If you want success, but you have still see competition, or compare yourself to others, find you are jealous or find yourself reacting irrationally around others who do the samework as you, you need to address this. Or you have issues around being seen, or your self image, a problem with money or expressing every part of your personality, you work, an expression of you, is never going to be seen. Unless you want everyone to succeed, you are never going to succeed in a balanced way anyway. (success through a competition mindset means you succeed at the expense of others, not alongside them. That creates enemies and users, not friends). This become even more important if you are manifesting through Law of Attraction work or other means (all magical btw!) your life’s path. This is just one example that is pertinent around me at the moment but the principle can be applied to anything; look for the passive and dominating issues arund that mindset.
- False Positivity: this links back into the others, but this sense of ‘I need to deal with this positively!’ If you need to view everything positively, you really aren’t working with the energy of the Universe; the Universe sees neither positive nor negative, just opportunities for personal expansion. Now I am all about making my journey easy, but some of that means taking a short cut which maybe a bit prickly. I would rather the short cut was all flowers, but I am a realist. Not a positive person; although generally people will see my positivity, this comes from a place of balance and living in the real world! My enabling ability comes form an ability to see the opportunity in everything. Now if you are a glass half empty kinda a person, this is likely not going to apply to you; you may need to be, what feels like to you, unrealistically positive about something (and being like that is okay! We all approach life from different preservatives; the joy is knowing where you stand in that and approaching life accordingly). But the real danger is continuously painting over plaster which needs ripping out; it is all moldy and rancid underneath. Failing to accept that there are negatives in a situation, and choosing instead to positively reframe them, rather than addressing those issues will only lead to disaster. When we look at the process of healing anything which we deem to be negative or a loss, I always apply the stages of grieving. Before acceptance comes denial, anger, bargaining and depression. If you are continually sat in the denial stage, you have got some swift kicks up the backside coming. And the longer you leave it, the more you simply reframe and do the superficial healing which is simply taking you back to the place of denial,the bigger a cesspit you are building up. It will bubble over and you will be knocked off your pedestal in a monumental fashion. Have a look at my blog on Spiritual Bypassing here!
When I work with others we go back and heal the block that is causing the issue. This is not an overnight process (and one of the reasons why my healing programme is three months long), but through it we can view and feel differently about our past, so we can move forward. Both things are important; the past and the future. The reflection and the action. And this isn’t a superficial glance; a simple meditations or healing session. This is a deep dive into both things.
Consciously making the connection between your block and what has caused it is important. Otherwise you are haphazardly shooting into the dark; taking out anyone who is within range. It is quicker, easier and far less dramatic. In taking the time to work through your blocks with diligence, you are not only honouring yourself, but you are also honouring others who will be less impacted by your need to heal.
Let me know your thought and experiences. If you would like to book in for a free consult with me you can do so by clicking here!
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Till next time
Love as always