What have woman done that is so wrong, that we continue to ignore basic truth about ourselves, and keep owning that which is not ours? Forming part of a trilogy of Lillith shift articles. Like to show your appreciation! Next one in series? Click here!
The term Femme Fatale is an insult to Lilith and all female goddesses. In fact any female at all. Fact.
“femme fatale/ˌfam fəˈtɑːl/noun an attractive and seductive woman, especially one who is likely to cause distress or disaster to a man who becomes involved with her. “
I recently came across a beautiful Hindu goddess who is an aspect of Vishnu called Mohini; she is wonderful!
Her story, is that of a goddess Vishnu created, an aspect of himself, that was feminine, and beautiful and charming.
And she helped the gods retrieve that, which had been stolen. Yes she was very final with that which was taken; the Elixir of Immortality stolen by the Asura demons, which she then destroyed.
But at the start of rabbit hole research I found a really insulting description of her in Wikipedia; the femme fatale.
She’s not a femme fatale.
She is not here to murder or to do ill.
She is simply here to be herself and to do her thing.
Yes, she may get what she wants using what we class as feminine charms but actually is what she wants such a bad thing? And if she uses charm to get to that end, what difference does it really make? Why is that so bad?
This is a quandary and an issue, which women have today too.
I’ve had to deal with for many many years with this myself and it’s one I’ve had thrown at myself since I was probably 16.
When I first started to work I was very innocent. I came from an all-girls Catholic school and, although I’ve been around boys, I really didn’t know very much about them. And I really didn’t understand the ways of the world. Having 50 year old men be salacious towards me I actually found quite shocking. When asking for help the response was one day; Oh, well, you know, how can I resist? When you’re.coming at me with those big eyes
It actually made me doubt myself. Made me doubt if I was accidentally doing what I’d been ‘accused’ of.
I was trying to use some equipment, some big equipment in the warehouse of where I was working; I was on the shop floor and was helping stack up one day.
So, rather than literally thinking, oh, she just wants a some instruction, which is literally what I wanted, in his eyes it was something else entirely. I was obviously batting my big blue eyes so that I can get somebody else to do my job for me.
And this came from somebody who actually, I really liked and who I never lost respect for.
But someone who like many men, felt that it was an appropriate way to talk to a young woman. And certainly reacted to the fact that not only did he find me attractive, but I had intentionally acted in a certain way, in an attractive way, to gain or take advantage.
And all I had done was being polite and asked a question, which was, I don’t know how, this machine works, can you help me please?
Isn’t this what females charms are anyway? Politeness. Natural diplomacy; woman are the community builders & by nature make far better, realer, politicians. An ability to see both sides & bring order. To deesclate rather than inflame situations?
So why are these bad things?
So it’s something which has was ascribed to Mohini in this femme fatalle energy description on Wikipedia and I’ve seen it described and used against Lilith as well.
These women were not evil women.
These women were not using and abusing their charms as a woman. If there can even be such a thing. These women were using the skills they had naturally to obtain what they needed to in life. Why does that make them dangerous?
These women were simply women who were exactly what they were designed to do.
If you’ve ever read my blog about makeup, (link here) you’ll see how I’ve come to terms quite a while ago, with the idea that women are designed to be beautiful.
Women are designed to be beautiful and attractive in all of our varying ways.
And why should we feel guilty about that? Why should we be made to feel bad that wearing makeup is there for men to allure them? Or that dress to show off your long legs? Or a top that your boobs look great in?
Why should we feel bad that men find us attractive? Why is it bad for men to find us attractive? What have we done so wrong with society that women feel that being found to be attractive is a bad thing?
We know in reality what that is those times when you’ve been in a club or walking down the street and you’ve received abuse, you might have been a restaurant or in a cafe and has something just come on to you; tried to ‘chat you up’ . Now, it is a compliment to have a nice gentleman come and talk to you. Maybe ask you out, ask you for your number. But I have to say, that behaviour for me, I have been able to count on three fingers.
But we’ve all received the obnoxious and cocky chat ups, which I don’t always mind; the gobby chat ups. When I’m in the right mood that is . . .
But we’ve also received the abusive chat ups, the aggressive chat ups.
The ‘you must be a dyke because you’re not interested in me’ chat ups and ‘you’re a bitch’ for not letting me buy a drink that will enable me to be beholden to them.
What this comes back to is that as women we don’t want that associated with us because of the unwarranted and aggressive attention.
It gets to us.
It would be better to be unattractive less we get abuse or worse. Less we are accused of manipulating men by simply being what we’ve been raised to be. Polite women.
So I disown femme fatale. It’s an insult and I’ll say so to anyone using it.
I reclaim my femininity, I reclaim my ability to be attractive to men and I claim back that ability with the presence of the maiden and that all their innocence that beautiful lack of self awareness
First learning about yourself; finding out in a wonderful way that you’re attractive and beautiful, rather than, in a shocking, surprising or abusive way that you’re beautiful. And seeing that beauty as strength, rather than vulnerability. I claim back a different version of my first experiences of my seeing my beauty through another’s eyes.
I claim this back for all women.
I reclaim those not as a femme fatales, not as a woman who is going to use her politeness for ill-gotten gains.
But as an ordinary woman who yes, are attractive.
What if that attractiveness gets us somewhere in life, then why not?
We all have our talents in different ways. If all I had about me was tits and teeth, then I might be disappointed with myself, but I know that I have a mind and I have a emotion as well. But what if all I had was a pretty face? Would it be so bad to use that to get a job? When all white middle class men for a long time have been doing in walking into roles. How is that so different? I reclaim God given talent in all it’s forms.
And I claim this back for every woman who’s made to feel ugly. I claim that back to.
We are all attractive and beautiful, and it may be that your attractiveness is quirky or query or out there or colourful or floaty or bright or zany or out of the box.
Reclaim your attractiveness in the way that suits you.
Never allow anyone again to make you feel ugly enough to make you feel like you want to hide your particular brand of beauty. Give that back to them; don’t own another’s twisted view in life.
It’s an impossible ask by society, don’t be attractive but whatever you do, don’t be ugly.
I also reclaim this, now, for all women, all of the Lilith’s and the world, all of the Mohini’s. All of us, who are simply women, who in their own way, whether they are polite or diplomatic, whether they are fun, whether they are beautiful, whether they are intelligent in that own, whether they are practical in their own ways, getting what they want from the world.
For we are not bad women by our nature. I’m not bad simply because men feel overpowered by my sheer prescence; men feel like they can’t control themselves around us. And that makes us unbelievably powerful.
Men feel like they would do anything for us.
That is not our downfall.
That is men’s weakness.
I always remember having an argument with my husband who halfway through turn around and said, you think you can get away with this because your lips are all nice and shiny. All I had almost some lip balm but in that moment he completely forgot what the argument about; he’d be completely thrown off course. And he couldn’t continue with it. So I won the argument simply because I had lip balm on! How ridiculous, and actually simple, is that?
We all know that those Tales of women being the weaker sex are wrong.
And instead, what we realize is that, if men are set off course, by something as small as politeness or a smile, or Grace, or humility, or gentleness or caring, or beauty, or truth in intelligence or strength, we are not the weaker sex; never own that again, never own that.
Just like Mohini, we are an aspect of the Divine. Our beauty and ways disarm and diffuse. And what we want is good. Not just of our own, but for the betterment of the Universe!
Do we really think so little of ourselves, and of other women, that want we want is soooo bad?
We are not arseholes. We want in order to provide security for our family. We want in order to provide more than just basics needs and comfort to ourselves. Want what many white upper & middle class men have been taking as being their entitlement for many years; good jobs, security, comfort, fulfillment in and outside of work, an opportunity to relax in this relative Utopia we live in.
And, dare I say it, a little more altruistic than those men? We’ve lived at the dirty end of the stick for far too long, and for the majority of us, that means we won’t inflict that shit on others.
Stop feeling bad about wanting. Stop disowning your beauty.
Own yourself. Own it.
Like to show your appreciation and as always comments or any kind, are welcomed.
Love as always
Rachael x
Rachael; Teacher Healer Mystic 
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